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Chuck Norris Jokes Best 100

Chuck Norris JokesSome people find Chuck Norris so bad that they actually love him for making making them so miserable. Chuck Norris is a favorite butt of jokes and after watching him trend like crazy on Twitter I decided why not prepare a list of jokes about the man himself. So here goes.

By the way if you like some joke or if you think you have a better one, post it in the comments below. Some of these one liners made me whistle and hoot. This Texan sure brings out the crazy in everybody.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Let’s be real for a moment. Chuck Norris was a chump!!

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.

In the bible Jesus turned water to wine, then Chuck Norris turned the wine into beer.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris doesn’t teabag girls , he potatoe sacks them.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming: He doesn’t get wet; The water gets Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone …

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

God said “Let there be light.” Chuck Norris said “Say please.”

Chuck Norris does not consider it sex if the girl lives.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

When I saw Chuck Norris was trending on Twitter I thought he must be dead… So disappointed. (this one is sooo mean!)

Chuck Norris has two speed walk and kill.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

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