A few years ago, Barbara Sheehan, then a young lady barely 24 years old and a mother of two was happily married and busy with her work as a school secreatary. The family of Barbara Sheehan was engaged in the typical American pursuit of family, god, work, and happiness.
Fast forward today. The same girl, Barbara Sheehan, is a 48 year old who has been charged with something heinous and is standing trial. Barbara Sheehan is a few months away when the jury will decide her case. So far the signs do not look good in the ongoing Barbara Sheehan trial.
Barbara Sheehan was married to a police officer called Raymond and they both looked happily married. Things did not turn out good apparently and now she has been accused with the killing of his husband.
But the story is not that simple. Apparently, Raymond was quite abusive as a husband, both verbally and physically. Barbara Sheehan says she did not report this abuse to the authorities because Raymond was THE police officer. How could she go to the authorirites against the ‘authority’ at home.
During vacation time, Raymond used to be even more abusive and that is when Barbara Sheehan decided enough is enough. She refused another vacation with him to Florida and the incidents around then led to this trial.
i have been a victim myself of physical mental abuse. i nearly put an end to a boyfrends life almost 30 yrs ago, but praise be to God, i didn’t have to cross that line where there was no point of return. however, it doesn’t take away the fact that i still cannot understand what this woman is going through. i have been a counselor and counseled such victims, and have been able to help becuz of sharing my own past experience from the recovery that i recieved. its an awful situation to be in to be petrified and feel all alone. always seems the victims such as myself thot it was our own fault that maybe if “we” changed, they (the abuser) would change. quite the contrary. rarely if ever does it happen. i know that what this lady has done was out of desperation. the fear of being snuffed out by your own spouse somewhere down the road can happen, as it has in some situations, and it comes to the point when one feels their life is being threatened, its either oneself or them. its an awful feeling and awful position to be in. tho the awareness is there that there is escape and places to go to for help, one good example is that can hold one back is the fear of being found and fear for ones life. unfortunately this is the case and when this fear sets in all senses are dormant. and unfortunately some have even had to go underground to preserve their life and thats the sad part however, oneself wants to live. that is the bottom line. its my hope that we can all learn from others as they have from me and i have learned from others. the one thing in this country we have to stop doing is screaming rights and not want to be responsible. we need to back up what we are screaming our rights about.
I was in an abusive relationship. I am an extremely intelligent, good Catholic girl from the suburbs. I knew all the stories from the women’s magazines. I am a registered nurse. I had studied psychology. No one who has not been through this experience will ever understand how totally helpless one becomes. The abuser, whether it be physical, emotional or s.exual, is a supreme manipulator. Again, unless you have experienced it you can never comprehend the total helplessness.
I began by standing up to him. That made him worse. Then comes the shame. “How can I be so stupid?” The shame isolates you from everyone. You just try to survive. Especially after all of the apologies, roses, romantic weekends, and other means of making amends come your way. It is like the Cinderella story. Our handsome knight bestowing such gifts!
Then you do try to escape and he follows you, finds you, stalks you. How many women have to experience this hell before the legal system sees it as a matter of life and death to the woman? Prosecutors have never experienced this terror and therefore have no understanding. “Why didn’t you just leave?” How many women have left and have been murdered, with a so-called “restraining order”. Local law enforcement has the understanding of the futility of these situations. Prosecutors need to gain a better understanding of self-defense.A
Kill or be killed. It was inevitable for Barbara, she know it was just a matter of time and her life would end. In circumstances such as this; the verdict should unequivocally be NOT GUILTY. Unfortunate for Barbara her husband’s profession sealed her fate – death. I take my hat off to Barbara and women like her because even though she may face an unfair judge and jury she did what had to be done to protect herself and her family. How sad is it that she was driven to murder in order to survive herself. I view his death as no more than putting the garbage out at the side of the road. This is not a heinious crime – this is a crime of desperation. I have been in marriages of physical, sexual, mental and emotional abuse. I got out. I was lucky. Ladies be very weary of men in general they are wolves in sheeps clothing. Some wear a mask and once they take it off – you get to see the ugly pus underneath. I will prayer that Barbara walks away a FREE woman; I think she has suffered enough.
I Pray that Barbara Sheehan will be freed against murder charges. This lady and her children has gone thru enough abuse already. Barbara is a strong person. Her husband got what her deserved. She should get an award instead of criminal charges. Barbara believe it or not you have sent a powerful message to other abusive women. Maybe other abusive men will take notice about what you did to your husband and realize that this could happen to them if they continue to abuse their mate. I am praying for Barbara to not feel bad about what she did. God will make you strong. Thank you Barbara for going on the Oprah show. You will always be in my prayers. God Bless you and your children.
I have just finished watching Barbara and her daughter on the Oprah show, I live in Australia. Barbara I would just like to say I see you as such a strong woman for what you endured all those years, and for what you had to do in the end “protecting your Children and yourself” there was no other way. Your story touched my heart and I pray for you and your children that the outcome of the Trial will be that you walk free to start a new life. God Bless You and your children.