Whoever came up with this statement must have been a blind person. For those people who actually believe beauty comes from within, i.e personality are lying through their teeth. They are also lying to themselves. As much as a good personality is desired but deep down people will want to be attracted to a good figure, good looking face, the well maintained look, all the way down to a good pair of clean shoes. No matter how much you happen to love your sweetheart with a heart of gold, you will always wonder if you could have had that gorgeous girl that you keep bumping into on your way to work. You know the one with bouncy jet black hair who shares eye contacts with you as you sit in front of her in the tube each morning.
I hate it when people play down vanity as if its a bad thing. As if saying they want a really good looking person is a bad thing. People say being with an attractive person is good for a while, until you begin to notice their personality and that’s when you move on. Well I believe it to be the same case in being with a person whose personality captured you in the first place and then once that excitement wears down, you begin to wonder is beauty really only skin deep.
Personality, just like looks has its sell by date. There comes a time when you think to yourself, can personality alone make up for the lack of looks? and vice versa.
Sometimes you will find someone who is a total package. Lucky you. Again it has its sell by date. There comes a time when you think you have seen all that there is to it… the looks, the personality and the lot. You are bored and now you want a fresh face, a fresh personality to get your interest level up. That is why some married and committed people do a lot of ‘harmless’ checking outs of other people.
There is no harm in it…but it does tell a story of their own ‘what ifs’ desires. I know some of you will say ‘There is no harm in appreciating beauty’. Of course my friends, there is no harm in appreciating beauty, but lets face the truth here. You know that I know whats on your mind when you’re checking someone out. 😉
So what do we do? I mean is there a cure for this or some guideline on how to cope should that ever happen with us. I mean I hope we are not on the receiving end of someone’s Its not you, its me dialogue (which really means: I am bored of you and I am in lust with that total hot girl whom you dun know, thankfully!) or in dweeb’s world ( I am bored of your air headness good looks and I am in total admiration for the guy who wears hot specs and can do my maths homework for me).
I know of many couples who have tried to ‘revive’ their relationship by jazzing themselves up… read: sexying themselves up in a hope to revive their better half’s waning attention. Its a bit like helping a lover get it up.
I remember a few years ago, when I went to an all girls holiday with a family friend’s two daughters. We stayed the first few nights in Isloo at their aunt’s place. I remember their cousin who had gone off to marry his girlfiend who was 13/14 years his senior. He came back with her in tow and I remember looking at her thinking Okay you’re not pretty, but you got that emotionally available vibe about you thats attractive.. A few weeks later, I met her with her young husband and we did lunch. This time I noticed how different she looked. She had jazzed herself up, from choosing a different hairstyle, to wearing make up and to wearing really nice clothes. This wasn’t attempt to look ‘sexy’ for him (he was already crazy about her) but for his family and relatives – so that they can accept her and get over the age gap factor which was creating a distance between her and them. No amount of make up could disguise her age but she did look good.
I know I am shallow when I write the next things down. I wonder what he would think of his wife when she gets older. Will he still be attracted to her? And dun say Love is not about looks, you know the cynic in me would not believe in that. 😛 I think there will come a time when he will look at her, as she applies makeup to her aged face and wonder if personality and a good heart is all that he needs. He might miss out the buzz of being ‘attracted’ to someone’s good looks – just like those guys who go to work every morning, having kissed their wives goodbye and looking forward to bumping into that sexy nameless woman who always makes their mornings. I hope he will never come to this point. But I know that hoping is as good as believing in fairy tales.
By all means I am not pointing fingers at couples, saying that this will happen to them or has happened to them. I am sure you love your dorky faced lover with a bad sense of style very much and that you cannot fathom looking at another guy. Its almost like cheating for you. However, at some point, when no one is looking or when you’re laying awake in bed, your mind will wander. It will wander into a deep and dark place of sinful thoughts, where you will think for a brief moment or two about alternative reality. A reality in which what if you weren’t with your astronomy mad lover, but with that cute guy who is a friend of your good friend. Of course you may feel guilty of thinking about it and vow never to do it again. The point is, you had thought about it, even if it was for once.
We humans are superficial. Men are the worst. I am not saying this cos I am a woman but it is known that men are visual creatures. Men are the worst when it comes to checking other women out. At least most women can be discreet. 😛
I’ll end my yarnfest with a final thought. It is okay to be superficial. I’ll love you for your honesty and give you more respect than if you lie to me just to make yourself look like some sort of moral saint.